Dating a friend’s ex

Both the “Bro Code” and the “Chick Code” make it pretty clear that going after your friend’s ex is a big no-no. It’s one of those rules that you are not allowed to break. It sits right up there with making eyes at a friend’s parent or sibling. These are the types of behaviours that most friends would look down on – and for good reason.

Relationship experts agree that dating your buddy's ex is asking for trouble. One dating coach joked that it should only cross your mind if you were the last two people on earth and the survival of humanity depended on the two of you having babies.

She added that once you cross that line, you break your friend’s trust. One of the reasons for this is that after a break-up you should be providing a shoulder for your “homie” to lean on – instead of making them wonder if you’re the reason they’re single in the first place.

Here are some things to consider before pursuing that forbidden relationship:

How long were your pal and your new crush together? The longer they dated the more attached your mate is likely to be to the relationship
How old are y’all? The older you are, the less personally they’ll likely take the “betrayal”
Why are you keen on your buddy’s previous partner? Is it a low self-esteem issue where you don’t see yourself having the guts to date a stranger or are you really keen on them?
How much are you willing to lose? Is the loss of a good, long-term friendship worth getting a new love – which might not even last?
Have you had to a face a friend and your ex after they slept together? Were you hurt or were you over them both?